Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize