So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
