Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
