last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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