I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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