Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
