Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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