My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
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The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
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Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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