yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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