so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
