He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
