Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
