she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
