yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I won't apologize to a one balled man
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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