just survived the first fart of the relationship.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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