The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
