He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
