Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
one might say we're banned from that church
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
