That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
