need another drink. this is the easiest way
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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