Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
