I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
