We're facebook friends in real life
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
