In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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