I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
