Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
