There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
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I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
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He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over