Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance