Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.

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  (949): Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt. http://tfl.nu/7x8n
  Replies (6) Good night (2000) Bad night (718)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?

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  (978): Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before? http://tfl.nu/qhly
  Replies (28) Good night (765) Bad night (6410)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.

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  (906): Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already. http://tfl.nu/ar92
  Replies (12) Good night (3798) Bad night (1827)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.

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  (949): The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses. http://tfl.nu/cf7g
  Replies (25) Good night (3746) Bad night (2266)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.

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  (404): Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge. http://tfl.nu/3ppt
  Replies (5) Good night (4754) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.

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  (913): So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof. http://tfl.nu/7fh1
  Replies (8) Good night (2863) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high

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  (814): You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high http://tfl.nu/8t28
  Replies (7) Good night (1369) Bad night (650)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.

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  (310): Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting. http://tfl.nu/us8p
  Replies (4) Good night (1260) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.

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  (440): Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions. (440): The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America. http://tfl.nu/cnoq
  Replies (14) Good night (1710) Bad night (721)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.

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  (+44): He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits. http://tfl.nu/wm8o
  Replies (15) Good night (3759) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.

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  (319): I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester. http://tfl.nu/qs45
  Replies (10) Good night (945) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...

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  (617): I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song... http://tfl.nu/aol8
  Replies (3) Good night (673) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.

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  (306): I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS. http://tfl.nu/r076
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.

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  (517): I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive. http://tfl.nu/2l27
  Replies (0) Good night (836) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma

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  (740): Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma http://tfl.nu/tujv
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (467)

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