I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
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As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?