I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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