After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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