Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
