would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
