my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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