am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
