I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i out mim tonsoeep
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