Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
