i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
