I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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