So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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