I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
