I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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