my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
