my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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