im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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