So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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