i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
