I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
