I just cut my nipple shaving
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
