He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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