I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
