Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
