Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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