thus making me awesome and them whores
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
