The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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