I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
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DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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