Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
