Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
