If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
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I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize