she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i think i have two assholes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
