capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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