They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
