I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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