I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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