Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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